Say it like you mean it.

Sometimes having people be nice to you is kinda uncomfortable.

I know I'm a blusher. When somebody compliments me, and it actually means something to me - chances are, those cheeks'll go rosy. In fact, guaranteed, if I have some kind of crush on the person in question.

And I've found other people will take my sincerity as sarcasm when I try to let them know I appreciate or admire something about them. In this cynical age, it feels like we're all on the defense, rather than being open to accepting compliments and being willing to dish them out when we feel the need.

There's an old post I love on this topic from Jason Mulgrew's blog. I've tried to quote it at Lou at least twice and had her sigh (via email, she conveys it very well electronically) "Yes, Bel, you told me about that".

But just in case the rest of youse are missing out, I'm going to rehash it here! Basically, Jason confesses that he is useless at coping with people being nice to him and that interactions tend to go like this:

Mike: "Hey, cool shirt."
Me: "Geez - just remember to zip me up and you're done blowing me, Fagbert. Christ. Have you told your parents yet or are you going to wait until you bring Bruce home for the holidays?"

or

Mindy: "You look nice today."
Me: "Show of hands - how many people here gave Mike herpes? Raise it higher, Mindy, raise it higher!"

Maybe this is a self-esteem issue, but I'm not a psychologist. But what I'm apparently supposed to do is say "Thank you" and move on, so I'll work on that.

Okay, sure - the guy possibly exagerates as much as I do, but its freaking hysterical so I ain't complaining. And he's right though, so many times you find yourself reacting in any other way, rather than just saying "thanks".

On the flip side, his approach to complimenting people is slightly unusual. And by unusual, I mean just plain weird...

I think that I give compliments very well. Well, that's not exactly true - I think I give compliments very well because I give them like a person with mental disabilities. For example, I very rarely say "You look beautiful" to a woman. Instead, I will say something like, "Your hair smells like raspberries." I will mean this sincerely and as a compliment, but often times this makes me look a little weird and possibly dangerous.
...
But what's better: for a guy to deliver some cheesedick line and probably not mean it or for a guy to blurt out the first thing that comes to his mind and completely mean it, even if that first thing is "Your perfume reminds me of carrot cake" or "When you touch my hand, it makes me want to plant a flower" or "I feel warm because you look so nice"? Yeah, I thought so.

I do have to agree with our man Mulgrew here. A mental-disabilities-compliment probably would be quite heart-warming over a cheesedick line.

Though so much of compliments are about context as well as content - something as simple as being told that you are beautiful, a line that has been said a million times to a million people, can still really mean something, life changing even, coming from the right person at the right time.

Any thoughts, you oh so gorgeous people out there? Compliments that you've treasured, or that you realised were just water off a duck's back? Feel free to post anonymously if you so desire...