Things Males Should Know About Pick-Up Lines

This is a SHIT one:

• "So, you're pretty tall. How tall are you? Like, six foot?"

And so is this:

• "Can I just check first that the age range here is 28 to 35 years?"

This one here, also, SHIT:

• "Come here often?"

Yup, also one of the biggest all time cliches - and in this case, also a tad freakin redundant when the aforementioned girl is wearing a long-sleeved dark blue 50s style dress in a club where every other female is wearing a backless halter-neck made from tin-foil and pants made from boy-leg undies.

Wanna know what else is SHIT?

Ok - well, I'm gonna tell you anyway.

• Asking her what she did the night before, to get the conversation started. Her describing a movie she saw and enjoyed. Mentioning that the themes were similar to a comic book she's reading at the moment, which tied in nicely. Him then deciding to dominate the conversation from there on in, regaling her with tales of his script that is currently in progress, how is sounds quite similar to those two things, but is in a different setting, how no one else is writing anything like it at the moment, and how she will definitely like it because its really good.

• Saying "oh" in response to her answering "what do you do?" but then when the same question is asked of him, not only detailing his current role, but name-dropping the title of a recent publication he's been included in and recommending she purchase it.

I'd love to hear any further contributions to this list... the Comments door is flung wide open.

And, yes yes, I know ladies bust out some SHIT moves at times too - earlier this year I was preyed upon at a party by a charming blonde (and by charming, I mean possibly insane), who seemed to think that pinching my arse and staring at me with laser eyes was going to equal seduction.


There's this whole "Man Drought" being played out in the media at the moment, and I realise the statistics are there, but the whole thing still rankles me. The Listener cover a few months ago 'Mr Good Enough' had me spitting tacks.

I wonder if we have a new breed coming through now that have the mentality of 'spoilt for choice' and therefore 'can act like a prat'. Or is it just a basic (lack of) social skills thing?

And can I just say, half the rest why these fantastic examples here today come across as so SHIT is because a lot of the guys I've met are actual fantastic. Capable of being inside a bar, at party, whatevs and maintaining a lucid conversation - SIMULTANEOUSLY. Props to them.

PS: am also interested to know if the "Man Drought" is NZ-specific, or if its being talked about in other countries, in relation to their population gender split etc? Chur!