Reasons You Will Love Her

Reading the Bartlett's blog the other day I discovered that he's no longer in search of a flatmate - because it seems he's found a German to fill their empty room. Asked Cam if he'd read the site lately and spotted the same funny coincidence and he said "Bel... you know I don't read blogs".
I've tried using the right combo of italics to get across the precise tone of both world weariness and condescendation, but there was also the fact he was about two days out from the last exam of his last semester of his last year of his law degrees, and slopey words just can't convey that kinda angst.

Anyways - I love blogs - and I've just found a fabulous new one: Reasons You Will Hate Me

The author is an Australian 30-something, writes for TV and is that great mix of socially aware, superficial, hilarious, scathing, analytic and compassionate.
She does a big Q&A thing on Fridays, kind of like an advice column and covers various other things during the week - lots political stuff. The first post that had me cracking up was one entitled Awkward fatherly moment #348 which reminded me of a car game we play called "That's where you live". Though it hasn't yet gotten to an desparately embarrassing scenario involving big screen condoms.

This one had me cringing in recognition with the procastination factor and, of course, any indie rock reference totally makes me think of Lou:

pathetique said...
So, as I checked up on my entertainment gossip in an attempt to procrastinate from finishing a 2-page mini-paper (note how short it is, yet I still find a need to procrastinate!), I found this article, and thought of you.
Unfortunately, the URL of the link ruins the surprise of what it could be.
Would it be 'poor form' to note that he's married to an older woman? And what are your feelings immediately after reading the article?
I was imagining you attempting to split the couple...and I found myself intruiged as to which 'celebrity' couples you would like to split - whether it be because they're so annoying together, because they're too cute together, or because you just want to be with one of them.

1. VALENSI HAD TWINS, O HAPPY DAY

2. It's not poor form at all, pathetique. Indeed part of my love and devotion for the gentleman is due to his adoration for an older lady (he also likes 'big butts', bless his skinny tie). He's additionally - may we note - a 25 year-old stepfather to a 14 year-old girl which is just so fucking adorable/odd it hurts.

3. My feelings after reading the article were wholly joyous. It's Valensi, for goodness' sake. THE NICEST AND PRETTIEST MAN IN INDIE ROCK. He deserves only true happiness, and the occasional rude kiss on the neck from nice Australian ladybloggers.

4. I wouldn't want to split them up. A portion of what makes Valensi magic is the fact that he's possibly so incredibly beautiful Satan was brought in on the early plans to build his face and he could therefore pick and choose any female or male persons for sexing at any time of day AND YET HE IS STARRILY DEVOTED TO HIS LUSTY-LIPPED OLDER WIFE.

5. I don't really like the idea of splitting up couples as there would no doubt be a major fallout and I'd be on the cover of Who Weekly with the words 'LOVE RAT' painted over my face (again). Though if you're making me choose, Drew Barrymore is dead meat.

And yes indeed, after checking with your friend and mine, Google Images, this Valensi chap is quite the swoon induser... I'm willing to lay some money on Mel P being susceptible to those cheekbones oh la la...

This one also rang true, in fact I found it immensely encouraging to know that I'm not the only person keeping the other side of the bed warm in this manner. I was replying to a friend's survey thing on MySpace the other day and there was a question 'who did you wake up next to this morning?'. I answered: 'brother of the more famous Jack'. Which was entirely honest. Sort of. That's the amazing novel by Barbara Trapido that Keiran lent me. I highly recommend it by the way. And as it turns out, its A-OK it keep your bed stocked up with miscellaneous items as I tend to, regardless of company, actually. One exboyf who was a midnight marauder found an open safety pin under the pillow on his side and took it quite personally. Please! This is someone who let me carve my name into his arm, you'd think he'd be a little more hardy.

Dear Ms Fits -
My question: Do you think it's acceptable for a single woman to turn the unused side of her double bed into a de facto desk cum wardrobe cum book depository; in effect, a tangle of pens, scraps of paper, poetry books and lingerie? Or, is it somehow cosmically thwarting any potential for picking up, or even starting a relationship?
I look forward to your response; I'm sure it will be golden.
K.

I would say it's perfectly acceptable, K. Both sides of my bed (the 'me' side and the historically proven 'he' side) are currently overflowing with comic books, copies of Found magazine, diaries, novels, bags of mixed lollies, pens, knickers and a kazoo. Presumably anyone willing to spend an evening in my company just takes it on board as the messy runoffs of a ditzy creative 'type' and sweeps it aside in order to make louche rudeness. If you meet some trussed-up stiff who shudders at the thought of being poked in the nethers by an e.e.cummings collection 'during' then you know you haven't met the right person. It's your space; do with it what you will. To hell with cosmic thwarting. AND YOU CAN TELL MYSTIC MEG I SAID THAT.

And the person who inspired her to blog officially thinks Jared Leto is a celebrity douchebag so that is just dandy too.