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Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Reasons You Will Love Her

Reading the Bartlett's blog the other day I discovered that he's no longer in search of a flatmate - because it seems he's found a German to fill their empty room. Asked Cam if he'd read the site lately and spotted the same funny coincidence and he said "Bel... you know I don't read blogs".
I've tried using the right combo of italics to get across the precise tone of both world weariness and condescendation, but there was also the fact he was about two days out from the last exam of his last semester of his last year of his law degrees, and slopey words just can't convey that kinda angst.

Anyways - I love blogs - and I've just found a fabulous new one: Reasons You Will Hate Me

The author is an Australian 30-something, writes for TV and is that great mix of socially aware, superficial, hilarious, scathing, analytic and compassionate.
She does a big Q&A thing on Fridays, kind of like an advice column and covers various other things during the week - lots political stuff. The first post that had me cracking up was one entitled Awkward fatherly moment #348 which reminded me of a car game we play called "That's where you live". Though it hasn't yet gotten to an desparately embarrassing scenario involving big screen condoms.

This one had me cringing in recognition with the procastination factor and, of course, any indie rock reference totally makes me think of Lou:
pathetique said...
So, as I checked up on my entertainment gossip in an attempt to procrastinate from finishing a 2-page mini-paper (note how short it is, yet I still find a need to procrastinate!), I found this article, and thought of you.
Unfortunately, the URL of the link ruins the surprise of what it could be.
Would it be 'poor form' to note that he's married to an older woman? And what are your feelings immediately after reading the article?
I was imagining you attempting to split the couple...and I found myself intruiged as to which 'celebrity' couples you would like to split - whether it be because they're so annoying together, because they're too cute together, or because you just want to be with one of them.


1. VALENSI HAD TWINS, O HAPPY DAY

2. It's not poor form at all, pathetique. Indeed part of my love and devotion for the gentleman is due to his adoration for an older lady (he also likes 'big butts', bless his skinny tie). He's additionally - may we note - a 25 year-old stepfather to a 14 year-old girl which is just so fucking adorable/odd it hurts.

3. My feelings after reading the article were wholly joyous. It's Valensi, for goodness' sake. THE NICEST AND PRETTIEST MAN IN INDIE ROCK. He deserves only true happiness, and the occasional rude kiss on the neck from nice Australian ladybloggers.

4. I wouldn't want to split them up. A portion of what makes Valensi magic is the fact that he's possibly so incredibly beautiful Satan was brought in on the early plans to build his face and he could therefore pick and choose any female or male persons for sexing at any time of day AND YET HE IS STARRILY DEVOTED TO HIS LUSTY-LIPPED OLDER WIFE.

5. I don't really like the idea of splitting up couples as there would no doubt be a major fallout and I'd be on the cover of Who Weekly with the words 'LOVE RAT' painted over my face (again). Though if you're making me choose, Drew Barrymore is dead meat.

and now someone made twins with him - hurrah!And yes indeed, after checking with your friend and mine, Google Images, this Valensi chap is quite the swoon induser... I'm willing to lay some money on Mel P being susceptible to those cheekbones oh la la...

This one also rang true, in fact I found it immensely encouraging to know that I'm not the only person keeping the other side of the bed warm in this manner. I was replying to a friend's survey thing on MySpace the other day and there was a question 'who did you wake up next to this morning?'. I answered: 'brother of the more famous Jack'. Which was entirely honest. Sort of. That's the amazing novel by Barbara Trapido that Keiran lent me. I highly recommend it by the way. And as it turns out, its A-OK it keep your bed stocked up with miscellaneous items as I tend to, regardless of company, actually. One exboyf who was a midnight marauder found an open safety pin under the pillow on his side and took it quite personally. Please! This is someone who let me carve my name into his arm, you'd think he'd be a little more hardy.
Dear Ms Fits -
My question: Do you think it's acceptable for a single woman to turn the unused side of her double bed into a de facto desk cum wardrobe cum book depository; in effect, a tangle of pens, scraps of paper, poetry books and lingerie? Or, is it somehow cosmically thwarting any potential for picking up, or even starting a relationship?
I look forward to your response; I'm sure it will be golden.
K.


I would say it's perfectly acceptable, K. Both sides of my bed (the 'me' side and the historically proven 'he' side) are currently overflowing with comic books, copies of Found magazine, diaries, novels, bags of mixed lollies, pens, knickers and a kazoo. Presumably anyone willing to spend an evening in my company just takes it on board as the messy runoffs of a ditzy creative 'type' and sweeps it aside in order to make louche rudeness. If you meet some trussed-up stiff who shudders at the thought of being poked in the nethers by an e.e.cummings collection 'during' then you know you haven't met the right person. It's your space; do with it what you will. To hell with cosmic thwarting. AND YOU CAN TELL MYSTIC MEG I SAID THAT.

And the person who inspired her to blog officially thinks Jared Leto is a celebrity douchebag so that is just dandy too.

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8 Comments:

Blogger Lou said...

He's totally cute! I think it's sweeeeeeet (though a REALLY bitchy part of me did think - after the reference to him being a 25-y-o step-father to a 14-y-o girl - 'there's a scandal waiting to happen'... what kind of person am I? Well, a Woody Allen fan for a start... though not a fan of those scandalous goings-on of his that have led me to besmirch this cute rocker boy)

There was a really cute pretentious rocker boy in the elevator this morning. I was umming and aahing trying to figure out if the pretentious overruled the cute or vice versa, and decided to let what floor he works on decides. He works in the drama dept. Cute won.

On the other subject - I hate having anything in bed other than me, the bare minimum clothing that I am wearing, one bottom sheet, a duvet in a duvet cover, and a pillow in a pillow case. Cute rocker boy / Joaquin Phoenix is a desireable maybe. Anything else horrifies me - I never leave anything on / in my bed when sleeping. Possibly because I like to sleep right in the middle and have the ability to roll onto which ever side I please at any given moment. My old flatmate Michelle used to have the entire contents of her bedroom on one side of her bed and I'd always be so disturbed to see it.

Tue Nov 07, 11:42:00 PM  
Blogger Lou said...

PS I loved your description of:

'that great mix of socially aware, superficial, hilarious, scathing, analytic and compassionate.'

as making her awesome.

Totally agree...

Tue Nov 07, 11:43:00 PM  
Blogger Bel said...

The very appropriate thing was that when I snuggled down to sleep after blogging (and IM-ing you!) last night, I rolled over and got stabbed in the thigh by a fountain pen that was buried in the depths of my covers!!

I dare you to strike up a conversation with the next cute rocker boy you come across... that soon weeds out the potentially pretentiousness! Apparently we need to be checking for wedding rings tho - might be exhausted from gigging, might be exhausted from teething.

Wed Nov 08, 06:57:00 PM  
Blogger Lou said...

From her latest post:

I was kind of watching the race but not really paying attention as I was in a room with two handsome boys and trying to be funny so they'd fancy me.

Is it sad or wonderful that either one of us could have written that? I'm going with wonderful as, if we think she's hilarious and like her personality, that really just means we think of ourselves as hilarious and like our own personalities.

Thu Nov 09, 05:58:00 AM  
Anonymous Steph said...

I AM IN LOVE WITH AN AUSTRALIAN WOMAN. Geez move over giggling over your blog, and Lou's. Thank you for introducing this blog gem Bel!

In other news, expect me to get my head around a blog any day now... I just have to practise a bit so it is a pro as yours. Yikes. HTML scares me.

Sat Nov 11, 06:35:00 AM  
Blogger Bel said...

haha nothing wrong with that - I try to encourage it!! (says Miss Born In Adelaide, heh hee).

Yeah - absolute gold aye? Me & Lou have been discussing how we can wrangle adoption papers to make us all actual sisters.
Have you found her posts on 'Wrong Crushes' yet? I am sooo ripping that off. Or the one on interactions with famous people and stupid things she has said to them?! ...brilliant...

Can't wait to see the Stefunky blogging action! XXX

Sat Nov 11, 11:20:00 PM  
Anonymous meg said...

I love 'Brother of the more famous jack'. In fact it may have been my copy that I lent to Kieran that he lent to you. you need to read 'The travelling hornplayer' - same characters . Its quite sad though. I love Jonathan so much. I've officially had a crush on him since fourth form.

Wed Nov 15, 10:35:00 AM  
Blogger Bel said...

hulloooooo Meg! (just how 'mystic' are you?! heehee)

Since 4th Form?? man - lucky! I wish I'd discovered her books back then...
I lent that well-travelled BOTMFJ to my bestest friend Melissa and she LOVED it and then binged on every other Trapido she could get her hands on. Can't wait to do the same myself!
Unfortch Kieran has also got me hooked on his Y: The Last Man on Earth comics and that is my main game right now.

Wed Nov 15, 11:57:00 AM  

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