Such a bad song to get stuck in your head

I got the new Amy Winehouse album on the weekend and am loving it. Apparently she's been number one in the UK at the moment, and despite my out-of-touchness, I'm pretty sure she's not that huge over here yet.

But she totally deserves to be. Her voice is incredible and I love what she's done in the genre of music, contrasting with her lyrical content. A track like Me And Mr Jones is such a soulful motown throwback, and yet is full of cusswords and contemporary references. Brilliant.

The one I mean in my headline is Rehab - the opening refrain is "They tried to make me go to rehab,I said no, no, no". That can get you funny looks from your workmates when sung aloud unintentionally, I tell ya.

Tip of the day: you can listen to some Amy Winehouse RIGHT NOW if you go to this page, scroll down to you get to the picture of the cheerleader dressed as sexy santa (ADDED BONUS!!) or do a Ctrl-F search for her surname, but do it twice, so you get to You Know I'm No Good featuring Ghost Face Killah... 'cause its awesome... and that version is not on the album.

FIN.

Any recommendations?

I'm outta foamy stuff for the shower. You know, stuff that I'm sure my Dad would say is an overpriced unnecessary alternative to plain old boring soap, which does the job just fine, thank you very much. But it doesn't really - not when it comes to getting lots of nice suds and lovely lingering scent.

The bottle now disappointly empty on our shower shelf is this:

Johnsons Oat Milk & Honey, apparently. Does that mean, like, milked up oats? Or have they left a comma out there?? Dunno. Its pretty nice anyway. Good thick lather and strange biblical overtones with a dash of 'gosh this must be good for me, much in the way of a hearty bran muffin'.

I also love vanilla-scented things and I know that Marama gets the most delicious ones from the Body Shop. (It was always the giveaway for when she'd sneakily borrowed clothing of mine when we lived together. Delicious sweet smell on hoodie I couldn't find the day before? Chances are it had been clinging to the body of aforementioned female flatmate...ratbag!!).

Any suggestions, much appreciated. Unless of course you're off on the other side of the world and have stumbled across some scrumptious local speciality that will make me totally j and forced to reside in uncleanliness. Because we don't want that now DO WE?!!

musical television

I freakin love music videos. Best thing about my degree was getting regularly set homework which involved sitting infront of C4 for hours on end. Sometimes, if I had an essay due, I would even make the effort to traipse out to Sam's (the Manor House, purveyors of Sky TV on the beautiful plasma) and get my arse plonked infront of Juice for a solid 8 hour stint.

Every time I go out to my Dad's, I interupt whatever he's watching (motorsport, cricket or Antiques Roadshow. I guarantee it. Oh wait - unless its rugby or Top Gear. But they're pretty much the same thing, right?). Sky now has a nice little loop set up where you can just start at Channel 30 and only have to press the + or - button to watch music videos continuously. Bless them.

At our flat, this kind of binge happens rarely. Partially because of our crap reception, but also because we Don't Watch TV in our house. The unit is kept under a shroud in the corner of the room. Wedged behind the couch even.

But Sunday evening was an occasion worthy of wheeling out the evil contraption (COUGHstillhungoverCOUGH) and so was time to engage as an active viewer and put those (almost) four years of study to good use.

So, firstly, can I say:

IS GWEN STEFANI COMPLETELY INSANE?!

Because I find it highly likely that she may be. Her new song is rubbish and the video is too. Someone is written mean things about it, with pictures, over at the Guardian. Except I'm so out of touch its probably not even new.

Like, these guys called My Chemical Romance. This was the first time I heard one of their whole songs. Holy moley, they are some angsty wee lads. They were at the Big Day Out and I can only IMAGINE what that was like. It was bad enough watching the whole music video, which was visually uninteresting and looked like it cost about $7.

They had set some shit on fire in the background and did a lot of kicking up dust to cover the rest of requirements for 'special effects'. For outfits, they all just wore mouldy-looking black Sgt Peppers costumes. Oh, and make-up. E to the mo.

I was talking to my mum the other day about seeing cute baby goths in Wangas and she was like "Oh! No, they don't call them goths anymore. There's a new word. Hang on... I know it... waaait." (dramatic pause while my mum racks brain and I sigh) "Emos! that's it!". I was proud of my mum for being so on the cutting edge of modern culture (you should her on the subject of 'bling'... she's a world authority now thanks to her wikipedia-based research).

However, I've heard other people say similar things and I disagree. The people who became goths back in the 90s and the people who've turned into emo kids in recent years are completely different. And also I think that a goth would stomp all over any emo that got in their way. At some eyeliner sale, or whatevs.

Moving right along, they also played the new Nelly Furtado track ("Say It Right"). Again, featuring Timbaland, that cutie. But I kept waiting for the breakdown, and it didn't happen. I think her new music is similar to Justin Timberlake's, in that no doubt it is awesome on the dancefloor, but a little unsatisfying anywhere else.
I do like her fringe tho.

My pick of the day was definitely the new Muse video. I'm not a fan of them, but I do think of these things are cool: birds of prey; cowboys; kung-fu; film references; guns that shoot fire; pashes; hot English guys; neckerchiefs; titles; men that can rock a mo'; holograms; good use of split screen; pantaloons; and, of course, let's not forget ponies.

Muse have done me proud:



Just glorious.

Are there any other good new music videos around that I have missed due to being such a neo-luddite? Please enlighten me, merci beaucoup!!

Scratch & Sniff

JOKES!!

But I wish it was. For your sake. Because this flower smells delish. It has that really appley, kind of enveloping scent that some roses have when they're in full bloom and are warm from the sun.

bring back the beat

Early last year, I found a great mp3 blog which had enough of the kind of music I was into, but you could still trust his taste enough to check out the stuff you hadn't heard of too... One of those great internet finds.

Then I had the great PC debacle of 2006, where two computers went haywire under my care and I lost track of all my Favourites/bookmarks/so forth and couldn't for the life of me remember where this electronic treasure trove was located. But joy of joys I recently stumbled over it again!

So Much Silence gets updated pretty much everyday and always has tracks you can download and good solid info about what you're listening to. Kevin, who runs the site, leans heavily towards hip hop, which makes me very happy, but there is plenty of that indie rock/alt folk stuff that we all seem to be digging at the mo.

Kevin has some crazy contraption where his record player is hooked up straight to his computer, so is able to have available mp3s of vinyl releases, which is pretty cool - speshly for those of us in far away NZ who may never get our hands on the record anyways.

And can I just say that this post made more me excited about television than I have been in a long time?

Subtext? What subtext?

I am hot and interesting.

All of these things cracked me up:

Firstly, Steve Carrell. Because he was associated with The [American] Office, I initially despised him, which was a snap judgement based on very little prior knowledge.



This was the first time ever in my life I have reacted in this way about anything.



Once I'd seen the show however, I immediately revised my opinion. And recently I was talked into watching The 40 Year Old Virgin by people whose opinion I value very highly. It was COMPLETELY different to what I thought it would be - based on marketing materials and the trailer I'd seen.

But you can't beat good word of mouth (or "peer-to-peer marketing" as we like to say in the industry, just so the rest of the world knows that we are indeed a big bunch of toffs). So it turns out that this film is really well written, a great insight into the modern world of male relationships and totally fucken hilarious.

And here is Steve Carrell doing some other funny stuff (NOTE TO TRELEASE: high kitty content!!):



Cheers to Lou for that one.

Next up we have something a little inappropriate, but nowhere near as inappropriate as the original material ...so... meh. Doing a Lynndie may be a bit dated now, but make sure you scroll right down to the gallery for the real paydirt - the one of Hayden Christensen getting Lynndie-ed was my personal favourite.

That came to me via the Bartlett who had to flicked to him by the Other Bartlett, but neither of them will be posting it on their blogs as apparently they don't do "that kind of thing".

However if you want some Will Ferrell mixed in with dense theology and eco-political hippie claptrap, or a blog where the posts are consistently outweighed by the comments, then you know where to go.

Another good laugh was thanks to Meg and some of youse might have already read it if you clicked on the link she left in the comments. Its taken me several days to do so because I am a horrible friend.

In fact, perhaps I do need to go on The Michaela's Place Etiquette and Performing Arts FALL BOOT CAMP because it seems it would improve my life to no end. For those of you also too slovenly to go read for yourselves about what this course entails, you're missing out on some awesome pastel pink, italicised courier font fun, but I shall cut n paste for your benefit anyway:

Well,it's an even more in-depth session and more coaching then ever before...from filling out your Passport Application to Copyrighting your very own music and poems with the US Library of Congress to your very own bra fitting with a top undergarment specialist to skin care and beauty with a top esthetician to on-camera commercials and modeling!! Of course we can't leave out the fabulous Bible study with each class and the discussion of over 200 great college scholarships that are available to teen. This is not your normal teen boot camp...you won't get this anywhere else!

Gosh - no - that doesn't sounds like your normal teen boot camp AT ALL now does it?! Again, totally worth scrolling all the way down and checking out the photo gallery. Anything with captions such as "MS. MICHAELA INSTRUCTS [table] SETTING" "GIRLS WATCH CLOSELY" "THE COMPETITION BEGINS!" have to be seen to be believed.

Moving right along!!
The Bartlett IM-ed me saying "Have you seen this online shopping site?" and I was kinda like "WTF?" as generally I hate any overseas-based websites because I just get j at the cool products they stock and confused at the exchange rate and guilty at the bad state my credit card is already in. And why would a seemingly lovely young man like him want to send me into a spinning hot mess of those kinda feelings..?

However reading through the descriptions of items on Awesome! soon had me in hysterics::

Remember a couple weeks ago when it was like 80 degrees in the middle of winter, and the sun was shining and the flowers were blooming and we were all like, "I love global warming!!"

WTF happened to it?! My cherry blossom tree has no blossoms any longer! I was so excited about the polar ice caps melting that I was about to go on an excursion to one with my blow torch in hand, just because blossoms in January is awesome.

I guess I'll just get this adorable cherry blossom wallet to carry around and remind me of the good ol'days.

And it only gets better. Our IM-ing went deathly quiet until I returned and dumped in one of their poster's rant on the type of person who would be purchasing a lap-desk and therefore "...never wear a bra more than three days before hand washing it with elegant-smelling soap, and you still mail holiday cards to the parents of your ex because you were always so fond of them and they weren't the ones to break your heart..." and aren't spending the cash on therapy like they rightly should be. LOLZ.

Well, roffle to all that aye?! :D
I had a throughly crap start to the day so am glad to be feeling much better. Three nightmares in a row, the first about my little brother, then one about my dad and finally one about my cellphone. (Yes, my cellphone, I know, but it was contextual).

The question on everyone's legs...

Is narcissism in cohabitation with self deprecation?


ALSO:


Is this just plain wrong and annoying?


AND:


Is posting photos of yourself on your own blog just plain wrong and annoying?


BUT ALSO TO BE PONDERED:


Is the fact that Anonymous is talking to themselves to be of concern to the rest of us?


I POSE THESE WEIGHTY ISSUES UNTO THEE FAIR READERS.



HOLLA BACK!!

Photos of Myself I Was Sent In The Last 24 Hours:

Oh and then the next day...

...I helped sellotape four reams of A4 paper together. Cause that's how I roll.

Reunion Recap. (With exclusive photos!)

In 2003, there was a couple of guys I was studying with who had an idea for some kind of campus-based social club thing. Where we'd have, like parties and stuff. 'Cause our Screen & Media department at uni was getting on real well, the staff and students hung out a lot, the TV station was up n running and we were all having a good time.

(Plus, studying very hard and doing extremely well on our essays and producing short films that were relevant to the cirriculum, obvs).

After hearing them talk about it for a while, I realised that the underlying source of motivation was that our Student Union was supposed to give all formal organisations that signed up with them a lump o cash. Once this news spread, it wasn't long before we had all the paperwork needed and were putting that first cheque towards our inaugural Networking Night. There were a couple typos here n there, but basically that's how the Waikato S&M Social Club was born and how I became Club Treasure.

In the first semester we went from a dozen members to over a hundred. Our mailing list was really successful, as people used to it talk about projects, source gear, get advice and track down flatmates. We also had great events like music video competitions, film screenings, the end-of-year awards nights and - let's not forget - some awesome piss ups. I staged a coup and bumped myself up to President, sourcing sponsorship from DB and Red Bull, and we came up with the blue n yellow badges which signified membership.

And last weekend was all about remembering those good times. A core group of us assembled at Sam Brown's house (out at the manor) and general consensus was 'thank goodness we're all such film geeks and took so many pics over the years... because the rest of my memories are foggy...'.



There were a few key members missing, obviously. Those who have moved overseas, those who couldn't make it that weekend, those who have come to the conclusion we are unbearable wanks needing to pull our heads outta our collective arses. It highlighted the relationships which have stayed strong and those which have changed in the years since we graduated.

A lot of the friendships have grown closer in the last year or so, thanks to so many of them being based in Auckland now and working in the film industry. I'm literally the only one from my group of uni friends in Wellington. *sniffs pitifully* But it means I get to keep track of everyone and can just slot right in there with their social circle when I head up north.

Example: photo of me with Trelease, Mella, Chelsea & Marama. (Ahem - that's me on the far right, random stranger who stumbles across blog and are unsatisfied enough with life to continue reading this far into drivel).



Trelly & Marama I flatted with in my last year in La Tronica, but Mella and Chelsea, I didn't know quite as well. I was fortunate enough to have caught up with Mella a few times in recent years, especially considering she has had an amazing time raising her family, including her second child being born four months premature. (I know - OMG ). But now they're all in Bucklame and I get to hear the goss and see the pics on Tanya's Flickr and its all happy families.

It was the first big catch-up since Sam Barnes' funeral and it kinda felt nice to be all together and to be doing something a bit more normal. He would have so enjoyed the night though, waxing philosophical about the passing of time and other crap. We also talked about the fact that certain couples had had to come only one or the other, due to parental responsibilities, and that in five years time, that situation would only be worse. Would our next reunion require a creche? Quelle horreur!

Fortunately, there were plenty of other shenannigans to distract me from such thoughts. Such as, I got banned from throwing things. I was like "This is unprecedented!!" but then Sam Brown was whaa-ing about some doormat they'd never recovered and of which I had no recollection. I only got sent to the corner once for violation of this "ban", but Marama said I wasn't allowed to take my drink, so really I think things got a bit of a hand and I don't mean for my biffing of whatever it was that probably preferred being in mid-air anyway.

The manor house did not let us down in relation to mod cons and I spent a lot of the night mystified by these crazy electric ice cubes. For this photo I was trying to get them to the 'flashing' setting, while Rebecca was trying to explain this was redundant for a photo, but yeah - whatevs:



Sam took the next logical step and put them up his shirt.



Just in case you missed that the first time, here's McGeady's footage:



And no night on the piss is complete without two underqualified drunk bitches trying to set the kitchen on fire.
Cue... Bel & Trelly!!



(She is sooo gonna give me the punnies for that call).

You can go here to see "my" photos on Flickr by which I mean the ones off Rebecca Trelease's camera, heh hee! Cheers for those doll.

And of course for the full experience, you can check out Tanya's Flickr ones as well if you didn't already find those through her Backfired.net blog, which is apparently undergoing an overhaul at present, ooohh!

We went into town eventually, as it was the last night at Sohl bar and they had six bands lined up. It was packed there, people literally spilling all the way across the footpath - I've never seen a bar like that in Hamilton. Us girlies traipsed around the other clubs for a while, dancing up a storm, before we experienced the wrath that is Mella changing her mind and scuttled back.

It was sort of weird being out in Hamilton (for the first time in three years) and realising that I knew no one. The turn over is so fast in a uni town - even if I did know a first year student back then, chances are they'd be gone now. And you're not really given an incentive to stay in the Waikato, at least not the media types that I got to know while I was there. Unless you're tied to academia, or boring enough to compromise to life there, you move on pretty quick.

I just realised that sentence should have been 'It was sort of weird being out in Hamilton' FULLSTOP bahahah!

On a final note, I was at the Embassy today, buying movie tickets and the guy behind the counter goes "are you from Hamilton?".
I was all WTF? and he pointed to my handbag. It has an S&M Club badge on it (as well as a Sparkle Motion one, a Shaky Hands one and a Feelings Are Boring Kissing Is Awesome one).
Turns out he's a Waikato grad too, and was a member of the Club in about 2005 - long after I'd left the Tron. So that was warm fuzzies. And then he booked me into the sweet leather seats, so that made me happy too.

ever since I was little...

Music to your ears for my one hundred and first post...

More, soon. Honest. In textual form, not aural.


PS: turn it up loud

PPS: calm down, its not Dragonforce

XXX

Say it like you mean it.

Sometimes having people be nice to you is kinda uncomfortable.

I know I'm a blusher. When somebody compliments me, and it actually means something to me - chances are, those cheeks'll go rosy. In fact, guaranteed, if I have some kind of crush on the person in question.

And I've found other people will take my sincerity as sarcasm when I try to let them know I appreciate or admire something about them. In this cynical age, it feels like we're all on the defense, rather than being open to accepting compliments and being willing to dish them out when we feel the need.

There's an old post I love on this topic from Jason Mulgrew's blog. I've tried to quote it at Lou at least twice and had her sigh (via email, she conveys it very well electronically) "Yes, Bel, you told me about that".

But just in case the rest of youse are missing out, I'm going to rehash it here! Basically, Jason confesses that he is useless at coping with people being nice to him and that interactions tend to go like this:

Mike: "Hey, cool shirt."
Me: "Geez - just remember to zip me up and you're done blowing me, Fagbert. Christ. Have you told your parents yet or are you going to wait until you bring Bruce home for the holidays?"

or

Mindy: "You look nice today."
Me: "Show of hands - how many people here gave Mike herpes? Raise it higher, Mindy, raise it higher!"

Maybe this is a self-esteem issue, but I'm not a psychologist. But what I'm apparently supposed to do is say "Thank you" and move on, so I'll work on that.

Okay, sure - the guy possibly exagerates as much as I do, but its freaking hysterical so I ain't complaining. And he's right though, so many times you find yourself reacting in any other way, rather than just saying "thanks".

On the flip side, his approach to complimenting people is slightly unusual. And by unusual, I mean just plain weird...

I think that I give compliments very well. Well, that's not exactly true - I think I give compliments very well because I give them like a person with mental disabilities. For example, I very rarely say "You look beautiful" to a woman. Instead, I will say something like, "Your hair smells like raspberries." I will mean this sincerely and as a compliment, but often times this makes me look a little weird and possibly dangerous.
...
But what's better: for a guy to deliver some cheesedick line and probably not mean it or for a guy to blurt out the first thing that comes to his mind and completely mean it, even if that first thing is "Your perfume reminds me of carrot cake" or "When you touch my hand, it makes me want to plant a flower" or "I feel warm because you look so nice"? Yeah, I thought so.

I do have to agree with our man Mulgrew here. A mental-disabilities-compliment probably would be quite heart-warming over a cheesedick line.

Though so much of compliments are about context as well as content - something as simple as being told that you are beautiful, a line that has been said a million times to a million people, can still really mean something, life changing even, coming from the right person at the right time.

Any thoughts, you oh so gorgeous people out there? Compliments that you've treasured, or that you realised were just water off a duck's back? Feel free to post anonymously if you so desire...

Kate Camp poem: Offer

Offer

Lime milkshakes, double bacon
cannot last.

The special is always
finite.

So when I found you like a free
Mobil dollar in the letterbox

I did not slip you
into the leather grave

of the forgetting
section of my wallet

or pin you in the kitchen
to be splattered

but redeemed you instantly
knowing such things

are available
for a limited time.




Kate Camp

Woe!

Was just doing a post about something else but this snippet on Defamer caught my eye and then immediately BROUGHT TEARS TO IT!!!:

Novelist/Dave Eggers spouse Vendela Vida signs her new book, Let the Northern Lights Erase Your Name, at Book Soup.

WHAT?! Dave Eggers is married?! noooo! Dang it. She even had a cool name and a cool title for her book.

What a hussie.

Am suffering a serious case of writer-envy right now.

At least this means Toph must have a nice stable family unit these days.


Anyhoo. How bout those Golden Globes aye? I can't believe they all wore white again. Sooo last summer. I loved Reese Witherspoon's hair. She so wins in the sticking-it-to-your-ex stakes (i.e. Cameron Diaz looking like something you stick on top of a toilet roll in your nana's house).

Yeah I barely have any idea who won anything - you'll have to go to Lou's blog for that - I just spent all day looking at slideshows of the frocks. Mmm.

I'm a rocker. I rock out. NO - REALLY!!

Okay, well - I did this one time.

And while wasting time at work today (my boss is still away so I'm yo-yoing between terrifying new levels of responsibility and the freedom to SLACK like never before) I found the blog of a friend of a friend, Chambers, making this request about the Shihad/Datsuns concert:

Someone, please go to this and video it... i don't care if its on your cellphone, discrete pin-camera mounted glasses, handycam strapped to helmet, over the shoulder, hdcam, broadcast, film, digital film camera... make it happen please.

And funnily enough, I did go, and I do have video footage. Of Shihad and the Datsuns playing together. As in - simultaneously, like some kinda mutated Kiwi mega rockin rock band. Definitely quite the alternative to the regime of europop Chambers has apparently been suffering under lately.

Assuming my first attempt at uploading works, you can click here to watch the rather crappy quality video. I believe the track is a cover of "I See Red" as that was what was on the set list, but since the recording is off Option A) cellphone, and not Option E) HD cam, its kinda hard to tell.

Mikey (from Shaky Hands) took it on his phone - which is the same as mine, and of which I was unaware had video-taking properties until this night. Shameola. I will save you from watching the video where he demonstrates this and which features me actually saying "Oh my god. Oh my god. I'm amazed" but cuts before I launch into full blown "Dude, this shit is from the FUTURE. What else does it do? Does it have LASERS?".

As you can see in the video, Mel & I are not down amongst the 2000 other people (plebs!) but rather were hanging out backstage, thanks to the Shaky Hands boys. We are peeping out from that door, like little mice, as we'd just stormed onstage with the rest of them, chucking stuff round and letting off party poppers as part of a 'last show of the tour' prank. But we then thought twice about joining in on the stage dives and so forth - on account of our classic mini-skirted groupie attire.

five days at Onaero Bay

Highlight: The Bartlett says he's got his dad's car, so no worries about the road trip. This turns out to not be some boring suburban family wagon, but instead a '74 Holden Belmont, dirty caramel brown, with bench seats and the classic lozenge-shaped coathanger aerial. Departure was delayed momentarily while we reinstated the oversized fuzzy dice to their rightful place.


Lowlight: Having to move the oversized fuzzy dice after having driven about 100m down the road because they are both a complete distraction and obscuring vision to a large degree.

Highlight: Repping it for our demographic. We were the only people in our mid-twenties in the entire campground. It was all happy families or old fogies and a few disgruntled teens who appeared to be having a good time despite their best intentions to be sullen. We wore our golden youth like a proud mantle and defied every stereotype.

Lowlight: Other Gen Y-ers showing up. Worse than that, they were also Wellingtonians. Quelle horreur - they were mates of ours! Ok, jokes, not a lowlight at all. It was one of those classic 'small world' moments. Speshly as I misheard and thought Cam had said "Hey he looks likes Craig Ireson..." and was thinking "Holy SHIT he really DOES!!". But that turned out to be because it was.

Highlight: Living in each other's pockets for almost a week.


Lowlight: Living in each other's pockets for almost a week.

Highlight: Fellow bookworms. We read like mofos during our holiday. Cam & Bartlett took the promiscuous approach, with half a dozen tomes to chose between, whereas Simon & I were monogomous souls, sticking to plowing through our chosen volume.

Lowlight: Someone may have possibly got the book they were lent by a friend of theirs over the Christmas period a little bit sandy. And a little bit crumpled. This person might also have a tendency to dog-ear that she (OR HE) forgets is not acceptable to all book owners.

Highlight: Dozing in the warm sun of the afternoon.


Lowlight: Freezing half to death the couple of nights when it got really chilly.

Highlight: The beach there, on the west coast, is a proper one. By that I mean black sand, driftwood, cliffs that are just where the land has stopped abruptly and is in perpetual danger of falling ever more into the sea. We had amazing bonfires every night, made more magical by Maui twinkling in all it's man-made oddity on the horizon, and the full moon rising over the hillside.

Lowlight: Was forced to concede that my usual 'flambe' technique of toasting marshmallows is not as ultimately satisfying as having a mouthful of warm melty sweet goodness. Unfortunately my lack of patience and attention span still meant that every couple of goes I'd get fed up and just set one on fire. Mmmm. Charcoaly.

Highlight: Being cliquey. Establishing catchphrases, new slang, nicknames - you name it, we coined it.

Lowlight: Waitara. That place was a black hole, trying to suck us in and never let us leave. We just went in to pick up some supplies (and Bartlett blogged, I know he did) and next thing you know hours have passed without us realising. Something seriously weird was going on. Plus, I hate to reinforce stereotypes, but it was just all bogans and teen mums. So terrifying.

a forwarded email from my mum

A very eventful day around here... A once in many
lifetimes experience! Mark saw this lil' feller run out in
front of a car, thought it was a lost baby goat. Stopped to
get it, and WOW. A real Albino Whitetail Deer. Just hours
old, but doing fine. No Momma deer around. Another car
nearly hit it in front of Mark...

Well, he is THE neatest thing any of us ever saw. And
such a 'freak of nature', that only 1 in more than a million
are even born. He took his bottle of food, followed us
around the house, doing great. So, we called the Zoo &
Fossil Rim, who were both interested, but we're going to
send him to a Rehab farm. Maybe he will make it in captivity
somewhere and be appreciated. So rare... Sure wanted to keep
him tho. but, not the thing to do. And not LEGAL either ;
But, here are a couple of pix to show ya. He was snow white,
pink eyes, ears, nose and hooves. Kids called him POWDER. He
was SO small. That is my shoe lying beside him... WOW..how
cool is that??

Pass this around, a lot of folks have never and will
probably never see even another picture of an Albino deer
fawn......

goodbye Petunia!

Lou's travels have ended which means she's back in town and wants her lappy returned to her! So it is a fond farewell to "Petunia" the lovely wee iBook that I have cared for while she has been traversing. I will be very sad to say goodbye to the little bundle of Mac-ing fun, speshly as I have gotten quite used to the ease of having broadband literally in my bed. And the fact that both my PCs have crapped out and are scattered in pieces around my bedroom. I've started to think of them as installation art.

But I saw my therapist this afternoon so am coming to grips with the whole debacle and the process of readjustment. Also: buying new shoes helped too!



(Please note this photo was taken in a mystery location and not in the aforementioned bedroom containing computer scrap installation art and other piles of crap everywhere).

I should now really be burning off all the files that have accumulated over the last few months so that Lou has some space left on this puppy and can't perve through all my stuff (BECAUSE PRIVACY IS OBVIOUSLY SUCH AN ISSUE FOR ME). But instead I keep getting distracted and reminiscing and so forth...

Like, remember that time I was a freaky vampire child-lady and went around luring people into bed and looking like all I vanted to do vas suck thier blooodddd...



Ha ha ha, good times, great value!

These pics crack me up too - they're from when Pete had just moved into his apartment and it was all polished wood floors, bare walls, minimal furniture. I said I felt like I was in a photo shoot it was so stark and stylish, and was doing the whole thing from Absolutely Fabulous when Patsy gets 'Hello magazine' in and keeps going "Welcome...to my gracious kitchen...". (You know! You know! Come on... am i the ONLY one who has, like, every episode of that WHOLE show memorised?!)



However, Pete's adding of a large carving knife to the shot makes it a bit more 'Hitchcock movie' than 'Hello magazine'!!



That was a very good night. Ebony and I had gone to a WCC launch of the 'Summer City' thing at the City Gallery (well, technically I had SNUCK IN but whoo! how naughty, sneaking into the opening drinks of a council-funded public festival). The highlight of the night, and by highlight I mean EXTREMELY TRAUMATISING OCCURANCE, was Kerry Prendergast's attendance. Of course it was expected she would be there, she was doing the key note speech thingy, so maybe it wasn't so much her attendance - as her appearance.

Because our honourable mayor was wearing a skin tight pale pink boob tube. Why on earth would any grown woman do this you may well ask? All the better to show off the body paint with, of course! She was covered in the stuff. All over her neck, arms, shoulders, back... and front bits. Admittedly, it was a really beautiful job - obviously done by a talented professional and with real skill. And apparently it was in theme with the Summer Festival. But all the same... EWW.

As you can imagine, we got pretty smashed with the free drinks and the needing to cope with never knowing if you were going to turn around and brush against the half-naked mayor of our city (whom pretty much everyone resents, FYI out-of-towners, as her husband is a property developer who scores suspiciously good deals on urban planning). And then we went to Pete's place and terrorized him and Max who had been trying to have a quiet glass o wine and watch a DVD. Fools. That'll teach them to answer the door. When the buzzer is ringing incessantly on account of being held down non-stop cause that is soooo funny!!

But that brings me to my next pic - which will have to be the last I think! Its getting bloody late and as a semi-hysterical text from Samuel J just reminded me, M Ward is in da house! woot!



That is Max, with a big chunk of Santa Claus beardy fluff stuck to his eyebrow with my slobber. A result of us trying to entertain ourselves during the extremely pants Twinset opening act before the Wellington International Ukulele Orchestra's Christmas show.

I was so tired that night and Twinset were so pants and I wound up leaving early - after they (WIUO) played 'Ring My Bell' actually. So, not early early, but before the actual end of the show. But I was happy and had had my fill and it was the right ending for me, you know? I just had that feeling. When you realise the night has reached your personal zenith, regardless of what everyone else's timeline is. Happened to me at the final Trinity Roots concert. They'd played a truly beautiful version of one of my favourite (if I had to pick) of their songs and I was near bawling at them saying their farewells onstage and knew I wanted to walk out with their music flowing around me, rather than in the swarm of people. Its a kind of instinctual thing, about personal satisfaction and connection... Maybe you think I'm crazy and not getting my ticket's worth, maybe you've had that buzz too.

Okay well now I've bloody rambled on so maybe ONE MORE piccie heehee!



Mars & Bel: "Ooh yeah! We are so cool! Heehee!"
Tanya: "Shut up. No you are not. If you were, your hair would remain beautiful in all weather conditions, like mine. Fools."

pipped to the post

When I saw this headline on the Stuff website Over 500 NZers aged over 100, my head immediately starting thinking of a sarky funny comment. But wait - it was too late!

Their official byline for the article, to entice you to click and read more, was: Let's hope the Queen is stocked up on birthday cards.

Right then. Sorted! Heh heh hee...

news that makes me want to cry (in a good way)

Seriously, I felt the wee sprigs of tears when I saw this story in the paper. At first I was like, "Whaaat? Bloody soft summer story - they'll print anything" but the reporting had such a personal edge, it really amazed me.

Basically, this little toddler in New York fell four floors, but was caught by two men who saved his life. And the impact of it was so huge that the first guy was knocked off his feet and the kid bounced into the other guy's arms. He was travelling the equivalent of 35 miles an hour apparently!

The NY Daily News has the basic story and some great pics of them, you can
read it here.

But the newspaper really beat them to the punch when it came to engrossing details. Their article (sorry, I don't recall what the source was - I find it hard to believe the Dom Post has someone getting them the scoop firsthand in the Bronx) was solid gold.

It said that the wee childer has been saying to his mum that very morning that he wanted to be Superman, to be Spiderman. And that the babysitter had opened the window up to have a cigarette, and then left the room to go to the toilet, leaving the boy unsupervised. So, what does he do? Make the most of the opportunity to test his superpowers, of course.

Also, it mentioned that one of the men was the father of four or so kids, while the other one had just one foster child. If that doesn't tug on the heart-strings - sheesh!

The closing lines of the article was what got me jumping online though. It said "Last month, a baby was caught after a drop from three floors" or something like that. I was like "And what? Now that guy who caught THAT kid is feeling real bummed out?!".

But thanks to your friend and mine - Google - I found the origins of that story and BOY is it a cracker!! A young mum, a newborn child, a burning apartment! No choice but to say a prayer and throw the baby out the kitchen window!
...and straight into the arms (three floors below) of the catcher on a local baseball team who happened to be passing by and heard her screaming for help!

Oh lordy - isn't it just amazing? Couldn't get any better huh?

BUT WHAT IF IT HAD ALL BEEN CAUGHT ON TAPE?!!!

That's right people, thanks to the over-vigilance of surveillance cameras, the terrifying incident was recorded on CCTV and can be viewed here (link within text article) thanks to CBS, complete with a WalMart ad beforehand.

All in all, it has been a thrilling day in 'human interest' stories for me. One of the other articles I scanned through about the "Catch Of The Day!" incident mentioned it had been a week of heroes, as three NYPD cops had helped deliver a baby on subway platform and that someone else had leapt down and rescued a young guy who fell off or into or SOMETHING a SOMETHING. Basically it was all very exciting.


I had been on such a horrible buzz, thinking of all that happened in Lower Hutt, with that on-parole murderer guy, killing another person and injuring/terrorising all those others. (There's lots on Stuff.co.nz for those of you overseas). I'd been reading and re-reading the pages of reports and photos they had in the paper, a mixed blessing of all the detail they can go into at this time of year.

I'm completely of the opinion that we have to believe that our justice system and our prison services are there for the fact that when crimes are committed, people can serve their time and then be free again. We have to believe that being in prison has a positive effect on changing somebody's attitude and behaviour long term, otherwise what is the point?

So when something like that happens, and so much harm comes of it, I feel so sad and discouraged. I'm not saying our prisons are without flaws, not at all! A tragedy like this makes it very clear. But as well as the personal ramifications of the people affected by this man's actions, I'm so wary of the political spin-off.

The main thing that got me was seeing the effect this guy had though. The house he invaded where it was just a teenage couple and their mate, the girl pregnant. And he dragged the guy round with a gun to his head, room to room, demanding drugs of which they had none. What were the next days like for them, until they heard he'd been captured?

The face of one of the guys he punched on the mountain bike trail was purple purple purple. He was acting in such a vicious, inhumane way. How do you get to be like that inside, that you can treat other people in that way? What can we do to help, change, heal?

Okay, so now this about news that makes me want to cry, in a bad way.

Might go watch that video of the baby being caught again.

Glenn Colquhoun poem: To the girl who stood beside me at the checkout counter of Whitcoulls bookstore in Hamilton on Tuesday

To the girl who stood beside me at the checkout counter of Whitcoulls bookstore in Hamilton on Tuesday

For ten seconds I fell
in love with you.

The first second we met.

You were buying recipes.

The second second we turned,
Taking pieces of each other out of our eyes.

The third second we held each other gently.
Your skin was a small kitten playing with a curtain.

The fourth second we kissed.

Front gates clicked against our fence.

In the fifth second we married.
Your dress was made of Nikau palm.

The sixth second we built a house beside a lake

It was never tidy and the grass was up to our knees.

The seventh second we argued:

About toothpaste and poetry
and who would put out the rubbish.

The eighth second we grew fat and happy
and laid on the ground after eating.

Your stomach wriggled with a round child.

In the ninth second we were old in the same garden
of the same house by the same lake in the same love.

The tenth second we said goodbye.

Your hand slipped away from mine but
seemed to me like something I could feel.

We passed again beside each other without turning

As though we had somehow only met at the checkout
counter of Whitcoulls bookstore in Hamilton
on a faintly blue September Tuesday.



Glenn Colquhoun

bring it on double-oh seven!

The year is off to a good start.

My former Lower North Terrace compatriots, Marama & Joe, joined me in Wellington for the dusk days of 2006. We perused the finest dining establishments of the capital city (i.e. went to Midnight like a billion times) and upon discovering that both Ed's and California Sushi were closed for the Christmas break, decided to scamper up north early.

That kinda makes it sound like we just spent the whole time eating, planned everything around eating, and only cared about the eating, but tis untrue!

We also went out drinking one night. HAH.

Sweltering in the car, we stopped in Taupo early evening and enjoyed a picturesque sparkling lakeside spot, where we managed to get windblasted in a style I thought confined to my current residence and soon scurried back to the comforting muggyiness of our vehicle.

Arrived in Hamilton pretty late, but not so late that we couldn't watch a movie. I love this about hanging with my old crew. My eyes started going square just being in the presence. And my words get nerdier, doused in theory I thought I'd forgotten. Because its never good enough to just chill out and enjoy a movie. We have to discuss how it relates to post-modern feminism as influenced by a Deleuzian interpretation of identity.

So 40 Year Old Virgin was not only way funnier than I thought it would be ("You know how I know you're gay?" "How?" "You like Coldplay.") but also I wound up analysing the beegsus outta it in a way in a way that would terrify anyone involved in the original development, I'm sure.

New Year's Eve was spent in Bucklame at the Balmoral Chalet. Tanyapants is still over in HK unfortch, so it was just a small capacity posse but boy did we party big time. Such a good example of WHO you are with being the key to making ticking over to midnight the best thing ever.

There are some photos floating round but you know how when you're under the influence of your usual medication, celebratory alcohol, prescription painkillers, various other illicit substances including delicious chocolatey snacks purchased from the asian supermarket and then all of a sudden taking photos whilst dancing seems like a good idea?? and then you look at them the next morning and they're all just blurry images of gawky spazoids? Yeah well, maybe that's what happened, maybe I'm trying to give you a detailed metaphor to set the scene. Of what may or may not have happened.

One of the nicest things about leaving Auckland was saying "cool, well see ya...SOON!". Knowing that I was coming back up for the S&M Club reunion the weekend after made the farewells pretty lax. We'd caught up with Kirsty and Gareth in Hamilton, when McGeady and Lisa had come round for lunch there too, and there was just that lovely Christmassy whanau feeling of having everyone nearby.

Brief aside here, as in - slight step back in time - ooh look at me being all nonlinear! Gosh, i can't think of which damn theorist that is right for that whole thingy, with the stuff folding back on its self - Trelease knows!! Trelly..?

Anyway - my point was, both those lot had their lovely kiddies there. Elliot, who is brand new and proving Kirsty to be fantabulous at this whole motherhood gig. Biggest hitch so far is that Gareth has been in charge of naming the toys, so their wee six month old has two very cute teddy bears called Derek and Ken. Oh yes, catchy. And his stripey monkey toy is constantly referred to as 'Elliot's Arctic Monkey'.

And Katya was a cutie little cupcake as ever, dropping her dad in it when Lisa asked her what McGeady's New Year's resolution was. She looked at them both and said, "Anger". She also told Marama that hers should be to stop telling her to act. Which refers to the role Mars gave Katya in the film Down By The Riverside that they've been working on.

Lou's talked about New Year's resolutions over here and she's hit on the same thing as me. The first couple on my list as always complete piss-takes, as i crack myself up writing stuff in my journal like:

1st January.
Resolution #1 Quit smoking. DO IT this time you loser!!
Resolution #2 Lose weight (10 Kgs.) (Min.)
Resolution #3 Learn to love yourself
Resolution #4 Write to Nan before she carks it

...and so forth. Shit I'm funny.

But actual this year I'm not gonna lose any weight at all cause I'm fucken sick of having to buy new clothes and I'm gonna drink about the same amount and smoke more and make art with Sean and keep my life happy and write some more bloody poems and have people pay attention to them and learn to crimp. Or crump. Both?


Where was I?? Oh yeah in transit really... Wandering minstrel that I am, next thing you know, I'm on a plane back whizzing down south, whole row to myself and my nearly un-gammy leg.

Bartlett has already written snippet style about our Naki coast camping adventure and I will update again soon! Tis so blissful being back in the world of the interweb. So blissful that I am up way waaay too late despite the date stamp on this -TRUST ME- i have been distracted by chatting online with hot babes and yes you should be jealous.